If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
