i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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