I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
