My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
