The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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