he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
