She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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