I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
