I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Shame is for Republicans.
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