Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who died my cat blue again?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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