how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
