Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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