Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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