I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
