i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize