if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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