he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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