party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Drake has all the answers
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
