It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
