its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
