I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
