Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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