You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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