I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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