i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
