i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
