i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
