My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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