did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
