Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
