Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
