Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the gays at disneyland are vicious
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
