IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
