I'm jealous of your bromance
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
