He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize