South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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