I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
