fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
