but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
