PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
