Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
