dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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