My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
