Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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