Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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