He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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