The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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