Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
