I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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