I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
