Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize