one might say we're banned from that church
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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