why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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