bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
