And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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