oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
