sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize