maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
