If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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