4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just gift wrapped bread.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Semen is not good for contacts.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
