He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We talked him into tasing himself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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