My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize