Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
