It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize