I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
