this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
