WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize