I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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